


A Part To Play ~ Petruschka: Bild II "Bei Petruschka“

by Aeriel



Category: Princess Tutu
Genre: Ballet, F/M, Gen, Possibly Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-08-14
Updated: 2014-08-14
Packaged: 2018-02-13 03:12:22
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,568
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2134893
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Aeriel/pseuds/Aeriel
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Ahiru struggles with the likelihood that many of her desires will remain unfulfilled.</p>
            </blockquote>





	A Part To Play ~ Petruschka: Bild II "Bei Petruschka“

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Allekha](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Allekha/gifts).



> Relevant classical soundtrack because I am a huge nerd- Petrushka Scene 2 Petrushka's Cell (the one in the title) by Stravinsky, Spartacus Adagio of Spartacus and Phrygia by Khachaturian. 
> 
> Petrushka isn't necessarily a fairy tale, and it certainly isn't the... prettiest of ballets (in more ways than one). But I think there's a lot of ways in which it's relevant to Princess Tutu, and it's certainly a creepy enough story to fit right in thematically.

"Ahiru!" Pique poked her head into the practice room, where Ahiru was grimly practicing her arabesques. "I thought it might be you. Say, did you hear they announced what ballet the upper level students are going to be performing at the end of the semester?"  
  
Ahiru paused. "No? When did they announce that?"  
  
Pique sighed. "Never mind, you're always the last person to hear these things. Lilie's very excited-- she'll tell you all about it."  
  
Ahiru shrunk behind Pique when she saw Lilie outside, grinning so widely it looked as though her face were too small to contain it.  
  
"It's a very tragic story," she said dreamily. "A mysterious man comes to a small town in Russia with three boxes. After everyone has gathered around and paid admission, he opens the boxes one by one. Inside, there is a beautiful ballerina, a fearsome Moor, and a silly clown. They are only puppets, he says, but they can dance without any strings that anyone can see. The clown and the Moor compete for the ballerina's attention, but she always chooses the Moor. At the end of the ballet, the Moor runs the clown through with his sword while he's still reaching for the ballerina. He was in love with her, you see."  
  
"Oh," said Ahiru sadly. "He couldn't say anything about it to her because he was a puppet, right?"  
  
"Of course! Anyway, the town lets him get away with it because they see the clown is filled with sawdust, not blood."  
  
"But if he had feelings and could move and think, wasn't he basically a person anyway?" asked Pique. "So what if he was filled with sawdust if he was alive?"  
  
"Well, they're all played by living people in the ballet, anyway," Lilie said. "So there's always the possibility that something could go horribly wrong and coat the stage with blood."  
  
Pique shook her head wearily while Ahiru exclaimed "Don't say that!".  
  
"I bet you're worried because it's Mytho playing Petrushka in our school show," Lilie said conspiratorially.  
  
"Don't worry, Fakir would never impale him," Pique added.  
  
"Mytho and Fakir are playing the clown and the Moor?" Ahiru asked. She supposed she shouldn't really be surprised at this point, considering how few boys there were at their level. "Is Rue in the show too?"  
  
"Of course! She's the ballerina!"  
  
"Well, I know they'll all be wonderful," she said, trying to push aside the niggling feeling of being left out. It wasn't as if it was unusual for all of them to be performing difficult roles while she was still struggling to master the basics. Rue was always perfect, a scary role sounded just right for Fakir, and Mytho, well. She had always thought his dancing was beautiful, but now that he was getting back his emotions, he was increasingly peerless.  
  
That was something to be happy about, Ahiru reminded herself. She wanted Mytho to be who he was, and a great part of that was his ability to express himself through dance.  
  
It was only that she was trying so hard to catch up with him and Rue and Fakir, and sometimes it felt that she never would. Except for when she was Princess Tutu- it was so easy to dance then! Tutu never lost her balance or tripped over her own feet. Tutu was completely comfortable in her body, and more eloquent with it than Ahiru had ever thought possible.  
  
"Ahiru." Ahiru flinched when she realized Nekosensei was standing beside her with that look in his yellow eyes that meant he had noticed she wasn't paying attention. "We have advanced to third position."  
  
"Ah!" Quickly she swung one foot behind the other and threw up her arm.  
  
This did not please Nekosensei, who, if anything, looked more terrifying. "Ahiru, the ideal ballerina moves with fluidity and grace. Again, slower and with more attention to the shape of your arms."  
  
Ahiru nodded mutely and returned to second position. She thought of how Tutu would have done it. Slower, of course, she knew that, and, um, what was it that Tutu did with her arms?  
  
Nekosensei shook his head, tail twitching. "Not with so much tension in your body. You're warming up to dance, not fight a battle. Yes, that's better. Everyone, please move to fourth position."  
  
Nekosensei stayed next to her for the rest of the class, giving small corrections to other students now and then but mostly to Ahiru. By the end, she was sure he was going to ask her to stay after class again to rehearse, but instead he gave her an encouraging smile and said, "Very good work today. If you continue progressing at this rate… you may not have to marry me!"  
  
"Hey, good job, Ahiru!" exclaimed Pique in the dressing room. "I've never seen you stay in relevé for so long!"  
  
"I was shaking the whole time," Ahiru said glumly, pulling off her flats.  
  
"Everyone has to start somewhere," Pique said optimistically. "I bet even Mytho and Rue had trouble at first."  
  
"Poor Ahiru, suffering so nobly in silence." Lilie wiped a tear from her eye that Ahiru wasn't entirely sure existed outside of Lilie's fevered imagination. "The struggle towards inevitable tragedy is so beautiful."  
  
Pique shook her head. "Don't listen to her, Ahiru. You'll be fine."  
  
Ahiru forced herself to smile. "Thank you, Pique," she said, which she did truly mean.  
  
The trouble was, she wasn't so sure there wasn't going to be a tragedy. Maybe there wouldn't be one for Pique and Lilie, but Princess Tutu… Princess Tutu wasn't ever allowed to confess her love.  
  
Which was okay, really, Ahiru thought firmly. So long as she could gather the pieces of Mytho's heart and see his real smile, she would be content.  
  
Yes, content.  
  
It was difficult watching the rehearsals for Petrushka, though. Ahiru sat in between Pique and Lilie and bit her lip while Lilie gasped in her ear that Mytho was suffering so beautifully and Pique, who could still hear Lilie clearly, made an exasperated face.  
  
It helped when Nekosensei gave Lilie a dark enough look that she stopped talking, but it still hurt to watch the emotion Mytho was now capable of putting into his performances. Sadness, Loneliness… she wished she had been able to give him more positive feelings.  
  
At least there was Affection, shining in his face when Rue entered. Rue didn't quite meet his eyes, perhaps because she was absorbed in the role of the ballerina, who was absorbed by the Moor's attentions.  
  
As for the Moor, Fakir was intimidating and powerful as always. There had been more than a few dreamy sighs from the girls when he came on. Ahiru didn't think she had ever seen him and Rue dance together, but there was no denying they made at least as pretty a pair as Mytho and Rue.  
  
After the rehearsal, Rue headed for the exit immediately, walking past Ahiru as if she didn't see her.  
  
"Rue-chan!" Ahiru exclaimed, trotting after her anyway. "You were really great out there!"  
  
Rue gave her a mildly irritated smile. "Thank you. Now please go away so I can shower and rest."  
  
"Well, if you really have to. See you later!"  
  
Fakir was listening to the director with his arms crossed, which left Mytho standing by himself, looking rather thoughtful.  
  
"A rare moment without Rue or Fakir!" hissed Pique, shoving Ahiru in his direction.  
  
"That's not really that rare…" Ahiru began, but Lilie shushed her.  
  
"Go, Ahiru, go! We believe in you!"  
  
"You can always cry on my shoulder later!"  
  
Ahiru rubbed the back of her head nervously as she approached Mytho. She had been going to talk to him anyway, but now Pique and Lilie had made her all self-conscious.  
  
Mytho caught sight of her. "Ahiru."  
  
"Good afternoon," Ahiru said shyly. "You were really good today. I mean, you're always good, but that was so- I mean, it made me really sad."  
  
Mytho's eyes widened. "It did? I don't want you to be sad. That's terrible."  
  
"Oh, no!" Ahiru reassured him. "That's what's supposed to happen when you watch a good ballet-- you feel for the characters. I _was_ sad, but I'm okay now."  
  
Mytho didn't quite seem to believe her, which, Ahiru thought guiltily, might have been because she wasn't telling the whole truth. She wouldn't have felt nearly as sad if she didn't have such a good idea of how Petrushka felt. "Really, it's okay," she said again. "The important thing about sadness and feelings like that is if you didn't have them, you wouldn't appreciate the good feelings so much. So it's good to be sad sometimes because then you'll be more more happy when something really good happens."  
  
He nodded, slowly. "I think I see. Thank you, Ahiru."  
  
Ahiru blushed. "It was nothing, really."  
  
Mytho smiled. It was a small smile, but it made Ahiru's heart beat faster all the same. "I'm glad that I have you as a friend."  
  
Her face became hotter. Affection, she reminded herself. "M-me too," she managed to stammer, before turning around and running back towards a gleeful Pique and slightly disappointed Lilie.  
  
It might not be so bad to be a speck of light, Ahiru thought faintly. It was certainly better than getting run through. It wasn't… it wasn't a _happy_ ending, but… it might hurt less than not telling him how she felt at all.


End file.
